Don’t Date a Good Person


If I had to guess, I’d say that most of you are reading this right now because of the title. I can’t blame you – it’s an attention-grabber. After all, it goes against everything that we’ve been taught ever since our first serious elementary school relationship.

Don’t date a good person?

I know what you’re probably thinking: “Really Russ? I think you’ve been single for a little too long bro – you’re starting to sound a bit delusional.”

Well, maybe you’re right, but at least hear me out.

As usual, let me first disqualify myself as a relationship expert. I’m the furthest thing from that. However, I’ve had the opportunity to talk with and observe a lot of people over the past few years, and I can’t help but come to this conclusion – don’t date a good person.

The problem though, is not that our standards are too high (although this may be the case for many), but instead that our standards are too low. As a Christian, just dating a good person is not good enough.

Don’t date a good person – date a godly person.

Let me explain:

If you are a genuine follower of Jesus Christ, then you are indeed a follower of Jesus Christ. This means that your life is being guided and led by Him. But, if your “significant other” is not going in the same direction, you will undoubtedly run into problems. How can two people, who are united into one through marriage (which is the goal of dating), follow two different paths? You could be dating the nicest person in the world, who loves you and supports you in all that you do, but never achieve the unity and intimacy that you both desire. If glorifying God is the deepest desire of your heart, then you must find someone who not only will respect that, but will share that. That’s what it means to be godly. It doesn’t mean that the person is perfect. If that’s what you’re searching for, you may as well become a monk or nun. However, being a godly person does mean that they are striving for perfection as they seek to glorify God more and more. In Proverbs 31, it says that a godly wife is “more precious than rubies.” I think that the same is true for a godly husband. I take this to mean a few things. First, it means that godly people are rare. History is filled with people who have risked a great deal in order to find “rubies.” I suppose it would also be worth looking a bit foolish sometimes to pursue a godly spouse. Secondly, this phrase tells us that godly people are valuable. Just as a ruby gives someone satisfaction and worth, so will a partner who loves the Lord. For this reason, a ruby should be protected when found.

In concluding, I want to affirm that I am not suggesting everyone needs to break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I do, however, think that this is an important topic to think about before entering into a more serious relationship.

But how do you know if a person is godly (or is moving toward godliness)? Here are just a few indicating factors:

Good people apologize – godly people repent.

Good people go to church – godly people are the Church.

Good people give – godly people sacrifice.

Good people believe the gospel – godly people spread the gospel.

Good people love you – godly people love their enemies.

Good people want you to be happy – godly people want you to be holy.

Good people support your faith – godly people grow your faith.

“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” – 2 Timothy 2:22

Don’t date a good person – date a godly person.

Russ Allen

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